Day 19: Something, Leading to Panic

So, I've been talking about finding what's in your heart and then making a decision to go for it. I even said that I was on the verge of making a big decision based on what I've discovered in my own heart. I want to make sure I paint a real picture of the experience to you though...

I searched and searched my own heart and found a certain amount of peace in the decision to move, to make a choice, to just "go for it," but really and truly there is a lot of risk in that, and with risk comes fear. I have some REAL concerns about taking a plunge into the ocean of my dreams. It looks so inviting here from the jetty, but what if the water's too cold? What if there are sharks? Or salt water crocodiles? What if the notions I have of my strength as a swimmer are completely unfounded? What if the currents are much more than I can handle?

I want you to see that fear, because this is a true story. When you chase your dreams, you face your fears. There's no compromise on that one. Actually, when I started writing this post, I was second guessing a decision I am about to make. In the interim, I read a post from a Facebook acquaintance about how happy she was to have married her husband, and it got me thinking about my life lately. I believe, that when you get  to a place where nothing you do is exciting you and giving you hope for a better future to come, it's time to change some behaviours.

1. The first step, in my mind is to change the way you think about what you have - appreciate your blessings, and don't overlook them. 
2. Secondly: search your heart. Are you uncomfortable or clashing with people or situations because they are offending you, or because you are offended by what you aren't doing? 
3. The third step is to take responsibility: What about your situation is really about your attitude? Can you build something differently to the way you're trying to? Is there a good argument that someone else is making that you could be listening to?
4. The fourth step is to separate yourself from what spontaneously offends you. If there is a situation or a person in your life that is causing your negative feelings, it's time to start thinking about how that relationship has to either change or be severed. What boundaries do you need to develop, or enforce? Can you afford to leave this person or situation behind?
5. Step five: Sobriety. You can read this with a stubborn head on your shoulders, and I would have just convinced you (not that you needed it) that you're absolutely right and all the idiot naysayers in your life have no clue what they're talking about. Don't do that. The chances are that in some areas, you're dead wrong about what you should do, and someone is trying to speak wisdom to you. Listen carefully.
6. Step six is to realise that you probably won't see clouds part and hear a booming voice from heaven saying "THIS IS THE RIGHT DECISION! YES! EVERYONE, BOW TO THE RIGHT PERSON OVER HERE! S/HE'S GOT THIS ALL FIGURED OUT." This is going to require a step out in faith, with only the evidence you've accumulated. 
7. Seven: Get your scales out. Weigh the feelings you have now, having changed absolutely nothing and those things deep in your heart that you want to do, but are too afraid to try. Which one weighs heavier?

Having gone through the steps, my last thought for you (and for me) is to ask a question. Which feeling are you willing to live with? Is it the uncomfortable knowledge that you were made for more than this, or the knowledge that you have tried (and will try) absolutely everything to get to where you want to be? Look at yourself in the mirror. Everything you hope to be is valid, and you don't have to settle for "Okay." Be everything you dream of being. Help everyone you meant to. Love people so that they know it. 

Don't let your fear paralyse you.