I've been thinking about thanksgiving - not the festive season necessarily, but the act. I wondered to myself if there was a psychological impact to being grateful, and found some interesting studies. Emmons & McCullough (2003) have supported the idea that people who spend more time counting their blessings report greater satisfaction with their lives, have higher levels of beneficial activity and that the effects of even an imposed two week period of blessing counting resulted in continued optimism in a follow-up with individuals, compared to those not asked to identify the good things in their lives.
It stands to reason that if you focus on the positive, you'll be more positive. This is the basis of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a highly researched and supported psychological treatment, where you reinforce good behaviour by monitoring what you allow yourself to dwell on (your cognitions). My interest though, isn't in anything that specific. I was interested in the mundane, daily life with and without thankfulness. As an individual I come across as very no-nonsense. I am assertive and direct and probably intimidating in some cases. This means that people get the impression that I would never cry at commercials or coo inanely at a puppy, or a kitten. It means that when I am in work mode, people may feel that I would never be sympathetic to their headache, or their relational drama. I mention this because even things that are obvious to me, like how important I consider a person's mental health, how much of a value it is for me to support the self-efficacy of others, I have to say that to most people. I have to take a moment, or several, out of my regular routine in order to make sure that I am communicating that yes, I value your humanity, I appreciate your pain and your struggles, and I am, in fact a human as well, and occasionally experience emotion myself (funnily enough!).
Even when I spend my whole day being encouraging and supportive, sometimes all one person will see is the fact that I walked into the office, half smiled at the people I encountered and chit-chatted with no one (I am terrible at chit-chat!). Sometimes one person, who desperately needs to know that I value their well being, that I think they can do it (and anything they put their mind to, for that matter), they may only see that I was eager to get the job done because well, I was, but that's the only thing, of all the things I was doing that I communicated clearly.
Part of the journey that I find myself on is about being responsible for what I am adding to my environment. In other words, I am calling myself to a higher accountability about my contribution to life. I think that there is a lot more wealth in life when you are present at every opportunity. It is so very easy to be a performer in someone else's life-circus, while vacantly present in your own. At work you can be the amazing researching juggler, at home you can be the mystifying acrobatic relationship coach/warrior, at church, the gravity defying server, et cetera et cetera. How come it is so much easier to do what you are told than it is to do what you know to be right? I'm not even talking morality, I'm just talking about who you want to be when you take the time to think about it. Who is that exactly?
For me, that person is eternally grateful. She is encouraging, straightforward, immensely nurturing, well adjusted, expresses love so clearly and actively involves herself in life and relationships and the people around her. If you know me, I encourage you to keep me accountable about this. If you don't, I still encourage you to do so. Now, I want to ask of you - who do you want to be? Are you him/her?
It stands to reason that if you focus on the positive, you'll be more positive. This is the basis of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a highly researched and supported psychological treatment, where you reinforce good behaviour by monitoring what you allow yourself to dwell on (your cognitions). My interest though, isn't in anything that specific. I was interested in the mundane, daily life with and without thankfulness. As an individual I come across as very no-nonsense. I am assertive and direct and probably intimidating in some cases. This means that people get the impression that I would never cry at commercials or coo inanely at a puppy, or a kitten. It means that when I am in work mode, people may feel that I would never be sympathetic to their headache, or their relational drama. I mention this because even things that are obvious to me, like how important I consider a person's mental health, how much of a value it is for me to support the self-efficacy of others, I have to say that to most people. I have to take a moment, or several, out of my regular routine in order to make sure that I am communicating that yes, I value your humanity, I appreciate your pain and your struggles, and I am, in fact a human as well, and occasionally experience emotion myself (funnily enough!).
Even when I spend my whole day being encouraging and supportive, sometimes all one person will see is the fact that I walked into the office, half smiled at the people I encountered and chit-chatted with no one (I am terrible at chit-chat!). Sometimes one person, who desperately needs to know that I value their well being, that I think they can do it (and anything they put their mind to, for that matter), they may only see that I was eager to get the job done because well, I was, but that's the only thing, of all the things I was doing that I communicated clearly.
Part of the journey that I find myself on is about being responsible for what I am adding to my environment. In other words, I am calling myself to a higher accountability about my contribution to life. I think that there is a lot more wealth in life when you are present at every opportunity. It is so very easy to be a performer in someone else's life-circus, while vacantly present in your own. At work you can be the amazing researching juggler, at home you can be the mystifying acrobatic relationship coach/warrior, at church, the gravity defying server, et cetera et cetera. How come it is so much easier to do what you are told than it is to do what you know to be right? I'm not even talking morality, I'm just talking about who you want to be when you take the time to think about it. Who is that exactly?
For me, that person is eternally grateful. She is encouraging, straightforward, immensely nurturing, well adjusted, expresses love so clearly and actively involves herself in life and relationships and the people around her. If you know me, I encourage you to keep me accountable about this. If you don't, I still encourage you to do so. Now, I want to ask of you - who do you want to be? Are you him/her?
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