Rumbly in My Tumbly: The Blessing of Restlessness

Does your tummy rumble? While Winnie the Pooh up there is interested in some honey, I'm thinking about a slightly different sustenance. Last post I talked about being brave enough to stop doing what you're doing long enough to hear yourself think and feel. Ever since I could remember, I've just kind of encountered these bouts of restlessness as I walked through my life. I'd be on my path, doing what I needed to do when my hunger pangs for something more would make it impossible for me to stay the same. I wouldn't always know what exactly needed to change, but I'd become increasingly aware that there was more than this. 

Does that happen to you? You might call it an angsty and unfortunate thing, because it always means that at that moment, you're unhappy with your life (maybe not entirely but with some major aspect) and the result is this feeling that something has to give. You might think of it as a negative, but I don't.

Source

"Fire in my belly"

Someone once said that I had "fire in my belly," and I've been trying to figure out what that means ever since. I like it as a description I think, because it feels as out of control as I do in those moments of restlessness. Lately I've been thinking of that expression again, and wondering if there isn't something to that. I'm wondering if everyone doesn't have fire in their bellies?

Stay with me while I flesh this one out. What if the fire is there to keep us going, and if you don't put the right fuel in, you'll get some indication that your internal engine isn't running right? If you're familiar with me or this blog, you'll know that I'm fairly obsessed with purpose and finding your unique value to the world. Lately I've been doing the ants in my pants dance because a fresh bout of restlessness has hit. I have been trying to figure out what the benefit of those bouts is for me. I have realised that EVERY big move of my life has been preceded by bouts of unbearable restlessness, and I am so grateful for each one. Here's why:

1.) Unbearable restlessness is the kind of nagging feeling that propels you to make a change. 
If you're the kind of person who knows exactly what you want and where you're going then this feeling will either depress you (if it feels hopeless to change), or it'll push you over the edge to make a decision. If you're NOT the type of person that makes detailed plans and knows what you want to see happen next, then this will probably mean that your restlessness will show up in how you cope with what you're faced with. It'll either make you anxious (about the future), or it'll let you know that crunch time is here, and what you've been taking your pretty time with you need to move on.

2.) The right fuel makes the journey possible. 
If you put diesel in a gas running car or vice versa, you might get a mile before your engine starts running funny and making a lot of noise. Then, you'll need to tow your car to a place that can remove the wrong fuel and do damage control for you before putting in the right stuff. I think we humans are like that, too. If you are meant to be working with your hands and find yourself doing actuary projections at an insurance company, the chances are your internal engine will be screaming bloody murder. I'll be the first to admit to my secret, deep seated idealism, but let me say this next thing. I think that every person has all of these little portions of self that make up the whole fire. What I mean is that there's going to be a little rumbling for the artist in someone, the comedian, the mother, etc. This is a similar concept to the one I talked about in this post. If you're feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, one of the first questions I'll have for you is what are you running on?

3.) Asking questions gets us closer.
It's a theme of most, if not all of the posts at Rantings to continuously question, especially when it comes to what is going on in your head and heart. Do you know if you're restless? Or do you just have an inexplicable conflict with your partner? Or, are you just not sleeping well? Are you satisfied? How so? I'm not going to go on, but one really crucial principle that I'm learning in life is that EVERY question will never be answered, and I need to consider that very seriously as I navigate my life. I should never become so convinced that I fail to inquire. I should never presume to be categorically informed when all I've really done is interpreted.

I hope this post isn't too basic for you, but these are my three main celebrations where Restlessness is concerned. Without restlessness I wouldn't be motivated to change (and grow hopefully!), without restlessness I wouldn't pause to look at what I'm fueling myself with, and without examining my fuel, I won't be in a position to question what would drive me forward. So if you too have some ants in your pants or a rumbly in your tumbly, today's post is a challenge to see the restlessness as a blessing. It means that you're a fighter and you aren't just standing with your bowl wondering what life will put into it. Why not question what kind of engine you're running, and what fuel propels you, and has you running smoothly? Why not seriously consider what might make you feel more settled or satisfied? You absolutely deserve to go after those things, so don't let anyone tell you you can't. Find your good and go for it!