Last Sunday's post explored the idea that if you are who you say you are then you don't need to live in fear. I would like to amend that slightly, or at the very least, build on it. Today I am thinking about the difference between what you know to be your identity, and what you see as your future.
You know what I've suddenly begun to accept? I am not nearly as concrete as I once imagined. For the majority of my life, I will admit to you, I thought that the more consistent you were in terms of your goals, the success of your relationships and of your plans, the better you were doing at life. I am beginning to change my mind about this. Now, let me put some qualifiers on that statement before you go away thinking I'm saying it is better to be a flake than to be consistent... I'm not. I am saying that if you are a really structured person like I am, then you are probably more fluid than you realise. Some measure of consistency (read: follow through) is good, especially if you have the tendency to be a little bit uncommitted, but holding on to everything you thought you were simply because that is what you think you are supposed to do, I think, is not good.
What I am learning lately is that it isn't just life that is full of surprises. I'm learning that I am full of surprises. In the troublesome year that I've just been through in 2011, the thing that I struggled with most was the change of plans. I have been wrestling ceaselessly with the loss of what I thought was an element of my identity - my dreams for the future. I had a relatively clear picture of what I thought I wanted and I rejected the life in front of me because I couldn't see how this current reality would lead me to the dream I had conjured. That is misery, by the way.
I am learning that often, you have to fight your current reality because it isn't good enough, it isn't healthy, or it is damaging, but sometimes you have to fight your concept of a dream as 'who you will become,' because it is damaging or unhealthy. Now, this may sound a little incongruent to the fundamental message of this blog, but stay with me. I am still saying look for yourself every day that you live, I am still saying that you have a value that no one else has, and that you need to admit to your dreams and pursue them, but I am also saying that nothing is as straightforward as it first appears. I am saying that sometimes, in order to live the life that I believe God intended for you, you have to let go of what you thought was the dream that defined your future identity and see if you couldn't be something else.
Now, this is an unnatural idea, even to me as I'm writing it; I'm still wrapping my mind around it. Imagine being secure enough in who you are to let go of what you thought you could be. Imagine letting go of a dream when you haven't yet replaced it with a new one, contented to be assured that you could definitely be something else, something better. Imagine what your faith would look like if this was something you could do.
You know what I've suddenly begun to accept? I am not nearly as concrete as I once imagined. For the majority of my life, I will admit to you, I thought that the more consistent you were in terms of your goals, the success of your relationships and of your plans, the better you were doing at life. I am beginning to change my mind about this. Now, let me put some qualifiers on that statement before you go away thinking I'm saying it is better to be a flake than to be consistent... I'm not. I am saying that if you are a really structured person like I am, then you are probably more fluid than you realise. Some measure of consistency (read: follow through) is good, especially if you have the tendency to be a little bit uncommitted, but holding on to everything you thought you were simply because that is what you think you are supposed to do, I think, is not good.
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I am learning that often, you have to fight your current reality because it isn't good enough, it isn't healthy, or it is damaging, but sometimes you have to fight your concept of a dream as 'who you will become,' because it is damaging or unhealthy. Now, this may sound a little incongruent to the fundamental message of this blog, but stay with me. I am still saying look for yourself every day that you live, I am still saying that you have a value that no one else has, and that you need to admit to your dreams and pursue them, but I am also saying that nothing is as straightforward as it first appears. I am saying that sometimes, in order to live the life that I believe God intended for you, you have to let go of what you thought was the dream that defined your future identity and see if you couldn't be something else.
Now, this is an unnatural idea, even to me as I'm writing it; I'm still wrapping my mind around it. Imagine being secure enough in who you are to let go of what you thought you could be. Imagine letting go of a dream when you haven't yet replaced it with a new one, contented to be assured that you could definitely be something else, something better. Imagine what your faith would look like if this was something you could do.
<< Proverbs 3 >>
New Living Translation
Trusting in the LORDStore my commands in your heart.2If you do this, you will live many years,and your life will be satisfying.3Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!Tie them around your neck as a reminder.Write them deep within your heart.4Then you will find favor with both God and people,and you will earn a good reputation.5Trust in the LORD with all your heart;do not depend on your own understanding.6Seek his will in all you do,and he will show you which path to take.
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