366 Days of 2012

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I am a cliché as far as resolutions go. What can I say? Sometimes, I am completely at the mercy of a good plan. (I am working on this). Here is a list I'll be working through - I'll be focusing on the individual resolutions in more detail as we get into the year. These are things that 2011 has brought out in Rantings that I think are worth focusing on in 2012, not in order of importance.

1.) I will not take responsibility for other people's stupidity - This year, we talked about how it is really important not to accept the crap that is handed to you by others. Sometimes, it is the simplest sentence that moves other people's bad behaviour back to them, and away from you. I'm not talking about aggression, but the simple act of knowing who you are, and rejecting negativity. Just because someone says something to you or even about you does not make it your problem. 

2.) I will not assume that bad things in my life mean that I have done bad - We talked about the presence of much in our lives as an indication that we are in abundant "life." It is easy, and perhaps even the knee jerk response to ask yourself what on earth you've done to cause this series of events, but sometimes there is just much happening, all around us. The take home message has been this: don't let yourself slump based on what you could have done or did not do that brought you to the place you are in. Instead, look forward, and never relinquish your input in your environment, wherever you find yourself.

3.) If things are not yet as I would have hoped, I won't change. This is part two of Resolution 2.) This doesn't mean ceasing to grow, but rather, it means not letting go of your hopes. Admit to your dreams and have faith in yourself, good is in you. I believe that.

4.) I will let people see me. Society portrays the people who don't react to stress and drama as "the strong ones", and they do so with a certain amount of awe and reverence. As someone who's gone through the vast majority of her life like that I want to de-glamourise the silence. If no one sees you fully, it is the loneliest city in the world. If no one knows your heart well, then they cannot love you well. Let someone in - it is terrifying and very liberating.

5.) I will ask for help. Again, a continuation of Res 4.) To the people I love, I will admit to my little insecurities, and my needs. I will accept my vulnerability as a token of my intimate relationship with another/ others and I will give someone else the opportunity to know that they are not alone in feeling a particular way. There are no perfect people, and pretending to be one doesn't help anyone (least of all, you).

6.) I will be flavouring and taste to the world I find myself in. We talked about an alternative idea of salt and light, where the responsibility of believers was to add illumination, clarity, taste and flavour to the world, the space we found ourselves in. I am still very excited about this as a lifestyle, to constantly question myself - what am I adding? What am I making clearer and making taste better with my presence?  

7.) I will cherish the strong, frail body that I have been blessed with. This year, one joyride to the beach left me literally crippled, and I had to look squarely in the eyes of my own limitations. It taught me how arrogant we are about our body's functioning. We are an intricate chaos of perfect planning, and I hope I will never take it for granted again. (I am planning a trip to Mount Kilimanjaro in the next few years in celebration of having my gait back.)

8.) I will love. God, my world, myself.

9.) Wherever I go, there I am. This relates to Res 2.) and 3.), but is important in its own right, because this speaks to one's state of mind at every point. This is especially important in those transition times, in the times where you are fed up of where you are, and every day increases your angst. All year here I've been looking at ways to combat feelings of meaninglessness which erupt most when you aren't doing everything you wish you were. The goal of this Res is to find any and every thing that could make you feel like you are contributing and purposeful where you are. I really think people need to know that they add to their space, and deciding to be present wherever you find yourself is my answer to an uncontrollable restlessness. 

10.) I will do good anyway. The Paradoxical Commandments are a list of life statements and guidelines written by Dr. Kent M. Keith that have really spoken to me recently; I encourage you to read through them.

 I hope that you are really excited about the year ahead; I know that I am. I'm ready for some transitions and changes in 2012. This has been my most challenging year yet, and never have I been so convinced that I am alive, as I have been this year. Here is to the best year of our lives so far! We'll be living through the end of the Mayan calendar. We'll also be adding things to the environments of 2012 that add taste, that represent the unique us and we will be there.