Dun dun dunnn! It begins on a grossly personal level... breathe in J, and out. I have been thinking about my position here, now almost a solid YEAR back in my parents' home and completely out of the adult identity that I had created for myself in other countries. I have never lived here as an adult, and now that I am, I'm doing so as a dependent, or relative dependent after 8 months of unemployment followed by three weeks of work, one paycheck and then two months of unpaid, bed-ridden sick leave. I have talked about the dissapointment with many of my old friends here as a main source of my contention, but I was just recently trying to dissect that. Have I considered myself to have lost my best friends in the world? No, my best friends in the world are all over the world, and I still have them. What I have lost is some of my social currency, here.
I have been living in a social state which I consider to misrepresent me. In other words, the value I see myself having is not being supported by my environment. The result? Lower esteem of self. Lower energy levels to do the very things that would increase the support (going out, socialising). I reflected today that there are elements that I hadn't even considered - the fact that I am the middle child with an older brother and younger sister, and they both aren't living in the country. I hope you'll allow me these few moments to be personal. What I realised is that I'm a new creature here. I am trying to buy into a social market with a currency that became obsolete the moment I left in 2004, with an ever stretching chasm. The teen-aged, middle child, socially connected, young woman is not who I am. I have come home as someone new - I'm much more educated, have more work experience, my experiences in "life" have grossly broadened my perspective, my friends/love experiences have changed my life, I'm no longer lucky/blessed enough to be plugged into some natural peer socialisation with the presence of my siblings. To quote a song I like, I am not who I was, I am new.
This has gotten me to thinking; are we misusing our currency? Or worse, using currency that is no longer accepted? I think that we all go through points in our life when we are using a tape measure to evaluate ourself that was made to measure an NBA all-star, or trying to shop at Walmart with the leftover Rupees from our recent Indian holiday. Your height is disproportionately low because the scale wasn't made for you. The currency isn't accepted because it wasn't made to work there. Consider the passage below.
1.) Don’t think you are better than you really are. Now, I'm saying that there is no way to avoid doing this over your lifetime, but when you notice, STOP! You are only you. By all means, be the best you, but don't forget that there will always be people better and worse off than you. Measure yourself by the faith (the substance of things hoped for) that God has given you. This is separate from what you wish you were but know you're just NOT.
2.) God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. In keeping with this knowledge that talent and gifts are on a spectrum, and we are likely not at the end of it for everything, I do believe that YOU are two standard deviations above the mean in something. My idea is that when you find the thing that you are EXCELLENT at, this, is your currency. This is/these things ARE what you were made for; a unique cocktail of things exist in you to change the world. Find them.
3.) Don’t just pretend to love others. When you feel good about yourself and where you are, your (social currency) stock is high, it is EASY to love others, because they're helping you to feel good. It is difficult to love others when you feel like crap, but it benefits the giver of love to perform. To reference Paul Zak again, even the simple acts of sending a facebook message or chatting with someone we love increases oxytocin levels in the body (sometimes drastically!). Oxytocin is part of the brain's reward system (it makes you feel good).
4.) Bless those who persecute you. I am using this particular quote, but really the whole paragraph is helpful. I'm going to summarise it by saying that this represents the importance of community, and how your input can change not only the environment you, and everyone close to you experiences, but also your social currency. The object of this is to create less contention and more peace. When you add value to a space in any way, your stock goes up.
5.) Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Tell me this: have you ever noticed how difficult it is to live in peace with everyone? The extreme of this is being a "yes man," but I don't think this is what the passage describes. Even the wording suggests that this is not even always possible, but the previous paragraph warns that we ought not to think that we know it all. Sometimes, I think, that means trying to see things from another perspective, even the one most abrasive to us. How will this help your currency? If you are the peace maker, if you can have conflict without defamation or aggression then people will gravitate to you. You will be sought out. Also, you'll be a less disrupted individual - everyone's chaos is not yours, and you don't have to take it on. You'll still notice it, but when you keep a peace mantra going on internally, I think you'll find that the external starts trying to catch up. Stock: raised.
So, are you trying to buy with Rupees in a store using Dollars? Are you measuring yourself with an appropriate scale? What is your social currency? Are you striving to refine it, if you're aware of what it is, or to discover it if you aren't? I'm excited to start my nearest Monday with this change in perspective. I am not who I was. I am new.
I have been living in a social state which I consider to misrepresent me. In other words, the value I see myself having is not being supported by my environment. The result? Lower esteem of self. Lower energy levels to do the very things that would increase the support (going out, socialising). I reflected today that there are elements that I hadn't even considered - the fact that I am the middle child with an older brother and younger sister, and they both aren't living in the country. I hope you'll allow me these few moments to be personal. What I realised is that I'm a new creature here. I am trying to buy into a social market with a currency that became obsolete the moment I left in 2004, with an ever stretching chasm. The teen-aged, middle child, socially connected, young woman is not who I am. I have come home as someone new - I'm much more educated, have more work experience, my experiences in "life" have grossly broadened my perspective, my friends/love experiences have changed my life, I'm no longer lucky/blessed enough to be plugged into some natural peer socialisation with the presence of my siblings. To quote a song I like, I am not who I was, I am new.
This has gotten me to thinking; are we misusing our currency? Or worse, using currency that is no longer accepted? I think that we all go through points in our life when we are using a tape measure to evaluate ourself that was made to measure an NBA all-star, or trying to shop at Walmart with the leftover Rupees from our recent Indian holiday. Your height is disproportionately low because the scale wasn't made for you. The currency isn't accepted because it wasn't made to work there. Consider the passage below.
I'd like to use the bold text as my five qualifiers to evaluate social currency.I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.d 4Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.6In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.9Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10Love each other with genuine affection,e and take delight in honoring each other. 11Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.f 12Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
1.) Don’t think you are better than you really are. Now, I'm saying that there is no way to avoid doing this over your lifetime, but when you notice, STOP! You are only you. By all means, be the best you, but don't forget that there will always be people better and worse off than you. Measure yourself by the faith (the substance of things hoped for) that God has given you. This is separate from what you wish you were but know you're just NOT.
 |
| This is a bell curve. In psychology, (in research really!) you want EVERY piece of research you conduct to produce numbers that make one of these, because this is what we call "normal distribution" - it shows how MOST people find themselves in the middle. The VAST majority, with only a few people (</> 2 sd's from the mean) being in the lowest or highest range. |
3.) Don’t just pretend to love others. When you feel good about yourself and where you are, your (social currency) stock is high, it is EASY to love others, because they're helping you to feel good. It is difficult to love others when you feel like crap, but it benefits the giver of love to perform. To reference Paul Zak again, even the simple acts of sending a facebook message or chatting with someone we love increases oxytocin levels in the body (sometimes drastically!). Oxytocin is part of the brain's reward system (it makes you feel good).
4.) Bless those who persecute you. I am using this particular quote, but really the whole paragraph is helpful. I'm going to summarise it by saying that this represents the importance of community, and how your input can change not only the environment you, and everyone close to you experiences, but also your social currency. The object of this is to create less contention and more peace. When you add value to a space in any way, your stock goes up.
5.) Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Tell me this: have you ever noticed how difficult it is to live in peace with everyone? The extreme of this is being a "yes man," but I don't think this is what the passage describes. Even the wording suggests that this is not even always possible, but the previous paragraph warns that we ought not to think that we know it all. Sometimes, I think, that means trying to see things from another perspective, even the one most abrasive to us. How will this help your currency? If you are the peace maker, if you can have conflict without defamation or aggression then people will gravitate to you. You will be sought out. Also, you'll be a less disrupted individual - everyone's chaos is not yours, and you don't have to take it on. You'll still notice it, but when you keep a peace mantra going on internally, I think you'll find that the external starts trying to catch up. Stock: raised.
So, are you trying to buy with Rupees in a store using Dollars? Are you measuring yourself with an appropriate scale? What is your social currency? Are you striving to refine it, if you're aware of what it is, or to discover it if you aren't? I'm excited to start my nearest Monday with this change in perspective. I am not who I was. I am new.
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