He Is Risen! (And what that means to me)

I posted last year about my fatigue where Christian Easter messages were concerned, and what I thought the real weight of the Easter message was. I'm going to repost it, just because I still feel this way, and I hope it helps someone this year, also. Happy Easter, my friends <3

When John 3:16 Isn't a Cliché

John 3:16

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The scripture above is probably the most quoted of any among the followers of Christianity. It is popular enough to have become a tad cliché to people like me who've spent years and years as members of the faith. It is to the point where last week, the Easter holiday, I actually rolled my eyes at people who posted pictures of Jesus on the cross or updated statuses with "He is risen!" I thought that people's interjections were so obvious, expected and just cliché. What does that even mean to us? I questioned. I surfed the cable channels and I found a few showing The Passion of the Christ and I quickly advanced the dial thinking that I really don't need to watch that gruesome movie ever again.

As the week progressed though, I felt it laying heavily on my heart that I was losing understanding or appreciation for what that verse is really saying. In this world that we live in, it is very unpopular to be a religious fanatic. You can have faith, but you have to be progressive and cool about it. In the vast majority of western culture, morality is a loose and sliding scale. In my generation and the younger ones, we value inclusivity, and have a greater dialogue going on the negative impact of bigotry and fanaticism. Here, I wondered if my progressive and inclusive modern Christian thinking was leading me to forget or compromise my fundamental beliefs. So, thestory is that God sent Jesus (The word) to earth to be born of a virgin (to become flesh) and grow up to live among us, only to be innocent but accused, eventually being crucified like a criminal for all of our sins. These are some of the verses that tell us why Christians believe that Jesus' crucifixion lead to our redemption:

2 Cor. 5:21, "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

1 Peter 2:24, "and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed."

Rom. 8:3-4, "For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."

And so there are several biblical references that tell us of Jesus' feat for man on the cross. A flesh-and-blood man, yet the incarnate God, came to earth, willing to be brutalised for the sins of man, that we might live eternally. What does it mean? I was beginning to struggle with that because as adults walking around, breathing, and even living relatively successful lives, it isn't always easy to grasp. It isn't always real to me, as in something that I can understand or walk in that I was going to die, or that I was going to live in total separation from God (and from true liberty) if Jesus didn't symbolically die in the ultimate sacrifice for my sins, years before I even existed.

Source

I said to myself, okay, so where does that leave me, then? What does Jesus's death on the cross mean to me? This was the point where I began reflecting on John 3:16. Here is what I got: understanding the weight of my sin for judgment, especially in this "all things are permissible" world that we live in, is more difficult but understanding that the human fate is to perish, is easy. What I mean is, the world we live in today doesn't make it easy for us to even consider punishment for our bad choices. I mean that there is very little point of reference in this world to think that just bad behaviour, just less than pristinely moral, could lead to any valid judgment. These days, you could argue that it is bigoted intolerance if anyone puts any kind of value judgment on another's everyday behaviour. Even laws, which are generally the only still accepted judgment, can be challenged to suit the empowered people of today (e.g. abortion, gay marriage, the right to bear arms and kill another in "self-defence").

My point is just that there is not a lot of evidence to suggest that there are any consequences to making choices based solely on your own personal agenda. If you aren't breaking any laws, and you aren't hurting anyone, then what's the problem? I know that this is the place that a lot of people today are coming from, and so I wonder then, how we can still receive from a verse that says God sent His only son so that we would not perish but have everlasting life? I realised that while it is harder to grasp that "the wages of sin is death", it is easy to see that if you don't believe in anything, then you perish. In my own life, I perish in the moments where I don't see purpose, when I see suffering and experience hopelessness. In my life, Jesus is my redeemer from the moments where I wonder nihilistically. For me, belief in a God who is supreme, who loves totally and understands all things brings me back to life, where I would have perished. And so, what if one of the ways that this verse stays really relevant is in the fact that to continue in our selfish little lives the way we're used to, to become consumed with the regular, run-of-the-mill life that we see in front of us is to perish?

Here's what I think: If we don't have belief that we are redeemed, if we can't hope that our own human stupidity isn't permanent or a deal-breaker to a future life in paradise; if we can't even look forward to a future in paradise, then we all perish. In the world we live in now, we are plagued by our own imperfection. We get into relational drama, we lose our focus, we change our minds, and we make poor choices. I think this is the exhausting part of being human, and if we can call this an effect of sin, then that scripture becomes completely relevant to our world today. Today, we all perish as a result of our sin this way. We all suffer as a result of our imperfection, and to consider that Christ, my redeemer, died on a cross to carry the burden of my sin, (this sin), is to have my aha moment, is to say okay, that is real today and that is life-giving. Christ offers the cross on a daily basis to me for my sin-burdened life.

In this view, it isn't someone else making a judgment of what I've done, to tell me I am unclean and living immorally, it is me taking a good long look at my own heart and life, and saying "Oh! This is hard and heavy." This is me looking upwards for redemption from my personal burden. While I can repent of what I did yesterday, everyday I sin, and everyday it burdens me, but Christ offers eternal life - He can take my burden. The image of the cross is my lighthouse; where I become sick on a sea of my own sin-burdens, I can look for the light (which is Christ) and say "I believe in You, God."  If Christ offers a shift from the burden of a sin-based life to a spirit-based one where I find communion and comfort in relationship with Supreme, All-knowing God, then excuse me everyone, while I update my Facebook status to John 3:16. 

I Defer.

What shall be said when life is the subject? 

Who can withstand force, expectation? 

If it were up to me, if it were up to me! 

Have I once decided the rising of the sun? 

Was there a time where the birds flew to my leading?

Were it up to me, were it up to me... 

Turmoil is the space between wishing and a hope deferred,

But who can deny it? 

Were it up to me, were it up to me...

Can it be honestly said that I know how to manage,

A life totally within my control? 

If it were up to me, if it were up to me!

Any chances to see more, are coveted,

Any glimmers of control, are clutched. 

Were it up to me, were it up to me... 

What then, when information is not whole?

Who is responsible for this?

If it were up to me, if it were up to me...

I Defer. 

Does That Make Me Crazy?

Source

I remember when, I rememberI remember when I lost my mindThere was something so pleasant about that placeEven your emotions have an echo in so much space

And when you're out there without careYeah, I was out of touchBut it wasn't because I didn't know enoughI just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?Does that make me crazy?Does that make me crazy?Possibly

And I hope that you areHaving the time of your lifeBut think twiceThat's my only advice

Come on now, who do youWho do you, who do you, who do you think you are?Ha ha ha, bless your soulYou really think you're in control?

Well, I think you're crazyI think you're crazyI think you're crazyJust like me

My heroes had the heartTo lose their lives out on a limbAnd all I rememberIs thinking, I want to be like them

Ever since I was littleEver since I was littleIt looked like funAnd it's no coincidence I've comeAnd I can die when I'm done

But maybe I'm crazyMaybe you're crazyMaybe we're crazyProbably

GNARLS BARKLEY - CRAZY LYRICS 

Most of you know that I work as a therapist in private practice and as an on-staff psychologist in a group of companies. One of the biggest struggles I face is in people's assumption that the need to "talk to someone" is a sign that they are slowly or swiftly "losing it." The number of times people say things like "don't judge me for saying this, but..." or "Does that mean I'm weird?" or even more popularly "Does this make me crazy?" is too vast to count. In fact, the popular song captioned above sums the experience up quite nicely. In the world of this Gnarls Barkley song, you're either crazy and delusional about it (enjoying the experience) until someone points it out to you or crazy because someone else thinks you are.

Let me just put a stake firmly in the ground and say that "crazy" is a completely clinically useless term. There is no such diagnosis in science. As far as I can explain it, crazy is a layperson's term to describe anything from an unwelcome parental decision, to an isolated piece of erratic behaviour, to foil-helmet-wearing-aimless-wondering behaviour. Crazy is a completely arbitrary term, and unless you ask some follow up questions about what that means to the uttering individual, you may be walking away with a false impression, even when you are the one throwing the word around.

I think that most people have a scary place. Most people, in my experience, have a thought or a state that feels completely intolerable to them, and most people try to avoid that place. The exception to this might be people who have a mental illness, like depression or schizophrenia. In depression, people tend to fixate on the negative or ruminate about the unpleasant truths or possibilities in their lives. The effect of this is hopelessness. In schizophrenia, depending on the type they may become paranoid about people, or experience things that are not experienced by others around them. For the general population though, I think avoidance is a huge source of people's experiences of "craziness." What I hear people saying when they say "I feel so crazy right now" or "This makes me so crazy" is that they either don't know how to understand something they're experiencing, or they have a garbled web of feelings and they feel as though they cannot sift them. That doesn't make you crazy, if by crazy you mean fallen off the face of society and now cursed to live on the outskirts as one of those unfortunate people with a problem.

ATTENTION!
We ALL have problems.
We ALL feel afraid to face the truth sometimes.
We could ALL use someone to talk to.
We ALL fail, sometimes.
We ALL experience hope deferred.
We've ALL loved someone who never loved us the same.
We ALL need to shake our fists sometimes and shout "THIS ISN'T FAIR!"
We ALL want to feel like our life matters and means something.
We ALL need a hug, a touch or a cuddle, regularly.
We ALL need someone to tell us we're not crazy, or that what's making us feel crazy too, will pass.

Let me be clear, because sometimes people experience mental illness, which is not the same as "being crazy." Being crazy seems to be a layman's description of the complete or partial loss of control of the self. It seems to be the definition for losing access to your own control in the world, and it almost always has connotations of a "lost cause." Mental illness, much like physical illness is some area of dysfunction of an individual's cognitive/emotional state. In mental illness there is assessment, diagnosis and treatment and researchers are busy at work all over the world learning more and more about how our bodies, minds and souls work together. In mental illness, there is a process to healthy or healthier behaviour - there is psychological and pharmacological treatment to help a person get back to a place where they have control or more control over their condition. There is hope for someone with mental illness, because actually we all experience ill health when sad things happen, when we feel disappointed or confused or when we do not understand. The preceding list is not meant to minimise someone's experience of an acute mental illness, but to remind us all that these are the very common things that make up a human experience.

My challenge for you today is to admit to some of the things that frighten you. Admit to the things that hurt your feelings. You don't have to tell anyone else, but if you have a trusted friend, partner or therapist, I'd encourage you to share with someone who will maintain your confidence. You're not crazy, because there is definitely hope for you. If you need help, there is absolutely no shame in that. We ALL do.

Confessions: When I feel like Jonah

I have started at least seven posts in the month or so since I've written. I've stared endlessly at my drafts and felt guilty that I haven't produced here. Why haven't I? I've been in Texas, I've had a birthday, and I've been horribly distracted by my life. I think it's okay to be distracted by your life for a while, as long as at some point you say "Okay, PAUSE!" and you take a minute to really understand where you're at. My minute is here, or more accurately, I think my minute is overdue.

Two Sundays ago I got off a plane to re-enter what is my current reality. I was in Texas exploring an exciting option for my future, and the whole time this was a prospect, I'd marketed it to myself and others as "simply one of my options." While this was true, in my heart of hearts this was the thing that I deeply desired to come to pass. It didn't, and I've spent the last week dealing with my dissapointment over the whole thing. I put a lot of time, effort and money into this, and everything felt so right, with the pieces seeming to fall into place. When the final word came that it was a no go, I couldn't do much but be devastated. What now? Even though I had prefaced the endeavour with this idea that this was one of several options, it was the one I wanted. I didn't have any certainty walking in, and actually I felt that the other options that didn't include me moving were just as likely to happen (maybe even more so).

Source

Understanding Free Will
I feel as though I have to revisit the idea of free will. Have you ever read the story of Jonah? Jonah is a really well respected prophet in his time, and God tells him to go to a city called Nineveh to prophecy. Basically, God is not pleased with them and threatens to destroy their city. Immediately, Jonah runs for the hills. He goes the opposite way, because he absolutely doesn't want to do it. He gets on a ship and falls asleep while sailing to a city in the opposite direction, but a terrible storm causes the sailors to eventually throw him overboard because it comes out that he is running away from God. In the ocean, a large fish swallows Jonah, and he is in the belly of the fish for three days and nights. During this time he has a chance to think things over, and he acknowledges God as his rescuer, and supreme. Then, the fish vomits Jonah up on dry land.

Jonah travels to Nineveh and gives them the message that God is not pleased with their evil ways, and the people of Nineveh take heart, and repent with prayer and fasting. When God sees their repentance, He shows them mercy and decides not to destroy them. This outcome angers Jonah, and we discover that this was his reason for not wanting to go in the first place. He was furious because they deserved the punishment that God threatened, but God showed mercy and love instead. God asked Jonah if it was right that he be angry about this, and Jonah said he was so angry, he wished he were dead. God let him sit in his anger, and didn't really offer him any comfort. In the passage, He only explains that a mass of people and livestock live in the city of Nineveh, and even if Jonah had nothing to do with creating them, they all have value and don't really know better. That's all. Exit the book of Jonah.

Seriously? Has God given us free will, or not?

Dr. Greg Boyd writes on the biblical basis of free will in this excerpt from his page:

The Bible assumes that people made in the image of the free Creator are capable of freely creating on their own. This is at least part of what Scripture means when it says that humans are made in God’s image (Gen. 1:26–27). We reflect God’s self-determination. We think, act and determine our destinies out of our “heart.” The Lord sets before us the possibilities of our lives, including the possibility of life or death. But we freely actualize whatever possibilities our “heart” desires.

That Scripture is not depicting a “soft determinist,” “compatibilistic,” understanding of freedom is clear from the fact that humans often use their freedom in ways that directly contradict the Lord’s will. People are not puppets that God secretly controls, but free agents who possess significant control of their own lives, and can either cooperate with, or resist, the will of their sovereign Creator.

This contradicts the classical notion that everything in history reflects God’s sovereign will. History rather frequently reflects the will of creatures who oppose the sovereign will of the Creator. The Bible clearly teaches that God unequivocally does not will sin. But obviously sin still occurs. Similarly, the Bible explicitly states that it is not God’s will that any person would perish (1 Tim. 2:4; 2 Pet 3:9). But many nevertheless do perish. Hence, it is clear that God’s will is not always accomplished, and God’s heart is frequently grieved.

What about Jonah, though? Jonah didn't want to do it, but God made his environment pretty unbearable until he did. Is it that Jonah still could have chosen not to do it, but there was enough ambivalence in him that a part of him was always willing to go? I struggle with this, because Jonah is so unhappy with the outcome that he is suicidal by the end of the story. How is this free will? I'll tell you a little about how I relate to Jonah as far as my recent experiences go. This blog has followed me through some difficult experiences in my life, starting with a big move of about 3000 miles from a life I understood and loved, to a life I have very little control over. I didn't want to do it, but I felt that this is where God would have me, and I value obedience over creature comfort.

Ever since I've taken the first step, I've been trying to sail in the opposite direction to the city I think God is guiding me toward (my Nineveh). I've been trying to sail away from Nineveh, and I feel like my environment has made it impossible for me to escape anything that is God's will for me. This is painful, and it challenges the loving image of God. I wanted to talk about it because I always want to be real with you. Not everything about being a Christian is a bed of roses, and sometimes you find yourself angry with God. Jonah might have asked himself why God bothered to make him come that way to threaten these people if He was only going to forgive them? Sometimes I ask similar things, like why would God bother to allow me to pursue certain things if He was only going to close doors later on? I think these feelings are quite normal, as many people experience similar frustrations.

The thing is, there is a huge web of twisted loops to free will. If everyone is allowed to choose, it means that every decision God makes is not going to solely be about me. Of course, I'm using a human mind to think about supernatural, Godly cognition (much like Jonah). I take Dr. Boyd's point, because the world we live in is clearly imperfect, and wouldn't it be terribly arrogant for me to assume that because I've witnessed God's perfection that I should be entitled to it, to the detriment of others? If God is consistently the same, then mercy and judgement, truth and grace should be distributed evenly amongst every person on earth, not just me. The final message of Jonah is that everything is not about me and what I understand about life. Some of my own goings and comings will have nothing to do with what I've cultivated or know, and will be solely about masses of God's creations that need attention. Sometimes, what God asks of me will be about others, and not about me at all.

After I've stomped my feet and said "But Gooood!" I think I'm okay with that.